Friday, July 10, 2015

An open letter to my Ex (I'm finishing my drafts from forever ago)

This has been a long time coming.  You would think your current medical situation would absolve you from your sins but it has not.

I loved you more than life itself- your devotion to your children and dealing with a psycho Ex- sadly,  I never trusted my first impression of you- I labeled you a player and toxic.  Your devotion to your kids broke me down, the dandelion "flower" that your daughter mailed to you?  It spoke volumes about the man I thought you were.

Our courtship was always shadowed by the constant drama in your life, you had your entire family under your roof, your car had been impounded due to your drunken accident- and yet my dumbass drove you to your court mandated classes - I was never secure in myself enough to understand how much of a ticking time bomb you were.

I believed every lie out of your mouth.  How horrible and psychotic your EX was and how you bent over backwards to keep the peace.  No one in this universe was a better salesman than you, and you can go to your grave knowing that your ability to keep a friendship with your Ex and yet sow enough discord between us to make sure you were the Savior keeping us from ripping each other apart.  Well played!

When I told you I was divorcing you, the first words out of your mouth were "So I guess you and (Ex wife) are going to be friends now."  All the drama that hurt everyone was just a game to you.  You painted your Ex in the worst light possible because you lived to be the martyr.  You had everyone you could completely riled up before she even set foot in VA- and then lived for the drama of everyone trying to interact with her.

I am so grateful that your lies and poison did not cost her a life with her kids.  Was she perfect?  Oh hell no, but she did the best that she could with the resources she had at the time.  She also goes above and beyond with her grandkids.  She, like all of your victims - has a great heart and didn't deserve how your family loved her to her face and then stabbed her in the back.

Why did we shrink in fear of Bill collectors when you made 6 digits?  Was hooking up and playing the bar scene really worth your son and I going without heat and power while you were away?  Why did you denounce your daughter completely when she was going through something that we couldn't understand?  You brag on paying for her schooling - yet you couldn't be bothered to write one letter to her- yes, she was a difficult teenager to deal with- but nothing that she did made her unworthy of your love.

My step-children are the only amazing part of my marriage to you.  Solely because they were real.  They always knew where my heart was at.  I was at your daughter's graduation from boot camp and I was there when your son went under the knife for his deviated septum (which I also paid for)  It pisses me off that you were never there when your kids needed you the most.  You could blame business travel for work (you know that company who offered to pay for you to go to alcohol treatment?)  Your need for everyone to see you in the light you were currently painting yourself in- over road your "love" for your kids and wife every time.  You lied and twisted people into monsters just to make you look like the hero in every story. 

This is my last official middle finger in your direction expression of hate.  I'm getting off the bitter train now even though the level that you suck could have fed it fuel for the next couple of decades.

You were a horrible, painful and traumatic chunk of my life.  I don't forgive you, but I'm done with letting that hatred color everything in the awesome that is now my life.  I'm renting out that space you take up in my head to something that's truly worth it.  Your ability to hurt and manipulate others will die when you do and thank Gods for that.

~ The Evil Twin