This blog post was inspired by my niece (Former niece? Niece when I was married Niece? She'll never be my Ex-Niece or my Ex's Niece- she's way too awesome for that.) who wrote a powerful FB Status on not judging others by their looks.
This was my comment on her post: It's human nature to judge others - everyone does it whether they admit to it or not. It does matter how other people look- but if other people's looks stop you from getting past that initial feeling of uneasiness - then it's time to look into the mirror and find out what the real issue is.
"Don't Judge" sounds great. I wish I was all Zen when faced with a stimulus that makes me uneasy. No matter how open-minded and loving I hope to become, I will always be human. "Only God Can Judge Me" - also sounds good in theory.
Truth is- we are all biased. Everything I see with my Heather eyes, gets transmitted to my Heather brain- and filtered through my Heather thoughts and affects my Heather feelings. When I give advice or form an opinion- it comes from my own Heather experience of living in this reality and how I chose to Heather communicate it. You know how when you want someone to just listen to you complain about something and then they go and turn it into an "I've been through that too- only here's why it was worse for me than you" conversation? Why does EVERY conversation have to be about them???
So we are all inner assholes of some degree. We project our insecurities on the world around us and don't even realize we are doing it. The reason that God shouldn't just smite us all and start over is that we also judge for good. If you see an elderly woman struggling to cross the street and you stop to help her? That's the judging side of you. You looked at her and judged that she was in need of your help and you judged the situation to be your responsibility to act on that.
"Don't Judge" = stop noticing that others exist around you. What we really need is "Don't let your inner asshole stop you from getting to know the best parts in others. It's OK to feel uncomfortable by what you see, but you'll get more out of life when you can work through that feeling and stop it from holding you back" Which is a pretty crappy motto and a bit long for a tattoo.
So Please Judge Me! Acknowledge my existence. You can even give me not so nice labels like "weird" and "da fuck is that girl on?" I'll pretend I'm too secure in myself to let your opinion hurt me. I do care what others think of me because I am not a robot. I am a hopelessly flawed human being who has moments of awesome. I am also hysterically Heather funny and Heather witty ;)
~ The Evil Twin