Sunday, December 9, 2012

*Bat Bat Run*

So usually after an all-nighter of true brilliance where I have no sleep- yet it's totally worth it as the ideas constantly pinging around in my head like gradeschoolers on Red Bull- are finally typed out- and I can sit back and have those five minutes of OMG FREEDOM!!!!
(before I resume filling my head with the new gradeschoolers on Red Bull- but I digress.)

Any who, sometimes those G on RB b@stards have play dates with my morning brain- which makes the drive into work all the more challenging.  First off, I can't type and drive.  Secondly, this is the bleakest part of my everyday existence as it's me before coffee.   *shudders*
Yes, I have a functioning coffee maker at home- but sadly I need a major incentive to get myself to go to work everyday.  I get up and make myself quasi function because the light at the end of that dark, dark tunnel promises coffee.  Lots and lots of free caffeinated bliss. 

So this morning's *Dances with G on RB b@stards* edition focused on my less than successful approach to conflict solving.  I can sum this up as *Bat Bat Run!*

OK Picture this- you're a cat that has stumbled upon a half-dead mouse which could possibly be the greatest thing ever!  Or it may just chew your face off.  Seriously, it could go either way.  You know it's there- you know it's supposed to be doing something- yet it's not.  It's.. just.. sitting.. there...  Since neither cats nor Evil Twins are blessed in the patience department- you realize that you actually have to touch said *might be the greatest-or it may efffing kill me dead* thing.  It ain't going anywhere without some kind of action on your part...

So, creeping up slowly- you extend your paw as far as it can physically go from your body, keeping the maximum distance between you and possible win or fail- and
(back up to a safer distance and wait for the magic to unfold!)
still waiting....
Oh eff!  WHY WON'T YOU MOVE????
Retry the creeping up slowly maneuver- again, extending your paw like you're frigging Gumby and
Only before you've had a moment to blink- IT FRIGGING MOVED!!!!!
*OMG RUN!!!*
I'm not a coward, I just enjoy having a face.
So in summary:

The greatest thing about this besides the fact that you get to keep your face is that once you've batted the thing whatever magical number of times required, it frigging dies! 
So yes, *bat bat run*  may not be the fastest way to resolve a conflict- but it's an eventual win, guaranteed. 
And as a wise author once reposted "Running from your fears is great for your hamstrings!"

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