Monday, October 1, 2012

Lifeboats in the Sea of Divorce

Let me start of by saying that the Good Twin is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me in my life.  Not only is she a Twin survivor in the soul ripping nightmare that is divorce- she's a frigging "well" of all things positive and meaningful in life.  She and I often reflect on what was that "moment" that brought us together. 
Ironically, Good Twin was someone I had a cloudy yet positive recollection of in High School.  I can't remember us having any classes together (she swears that we took German together- but being a repeat failure in Spanish I can honestly say "que?")
But she was definitely one of those "we never really hung out, but I so like you anyway" Facebook Friend requests.  It wasn't until I realized that my marriage was tragically over- and my Facebook posts started reflecting how scared, insecure and out of tune with the Universe I was- that Good Twin started Facebook messaging me.  At first it was links to her Live Journal and as so much of what I was going through was a mirror to what she was going through- I read her Live Journal Posts and felt an immediate connection- here was someone who not only didn't judge me- she was there beside me through every broken thought and hurt and "how much of a monster am I" feeling that I was experiencing!
The first time we hung out in person- she made spaghetti for us at her house.  I didn't have the heart to tell her that I frigging hate spaghetti with a passion- but after the wine was flowing- we connected like no tomorrow!!!!
I was also blessed with a friendship of someone I call HRH.  He was my first true love.  At 15, he embodied all that was right in the world.  Not only was he a gorgeous heartthrob of bad boy proportions- he had this natural spirituality and the belief of championing the underdog- and at that point in my life, I had strong beliefs in what was black and what was white in my existence- and nothing could change my bull-headed ways. I used to be the champion of the underdog- but the insecurity of being a teenager totally under minded that.  Not only did he speak "Evil Twin-ism" he was able to convey to my soul alternative ways of viewing situations- and he did this knowing that my ego was on the line- so he never put me on the offensive- he had this way of explaining things that made me look past my own limitations- and is it any wonder that it took me 7 years to get over his gorgeous ass? 
So flash forward to the me that just started to grasp  that my marriage was over.  I became friends with HRH on Facebook because my Husband and I were trying for a child of our own. I went through a spiritual cleansing phase that meant I would view every past relationship with open eyes and open heart- and that I would right any spiritual wrongs that I did- so that the Universe understood that I was creating a new life with the understanding that I wasn't a perfect person- and if I had the chance to honor and set right those relationship mishaps of my past- I was all about that.  So even though HRH was the heartache I never got over- our natural friendship overcame everything.  He was the only person I've ever felt comfortable enough to expose my "ugly side" to and in the way that captured my 15-year old heart- he never called me out or judged me. Even when my spiritual journey meant embracing "liquid courage" and blasting him with every insecure fibre of my being.  BTW- HRH- if you ever read this- I am so sorry and thank you!!!!
That's where "Lifeboats in the Sea of Divorce" comes in to play- I hope that everyone who has to endure this Dark Night of the Soul- has that spiritual rock- that comes through the the most randomness of places- and speaks to your soul and reminds you that no matter what- you are amazing- and that there is someone who sees all the good inside you. 


  1. You hate spaghetti? Wow!! Bag open, cats everywhere...

    You not only made me feel less alone in a horribly dark time, you made me feel loved. You helped me to start trusting people and you taught me to always laugh, not matter how bad it hurts.

    You were truly a lifeboat in a very dark sea! Thank you!! *big hugs*

  2. You do realize that "Bag open, cats everywhere" pretty much describes Evil Twin Heaven, yes? :)

  3. It sounded better than "can open, worms everywhere" but you are correct, next time I will cater to my audience! :)