Friday, November 23, 2012

Tiara Wars

The Evil Twin was going through her separation/divorce as I was going through the process of getting a protective order against my ex-husband and adjusting to "normal" life.  I think the Evil Twin and I married twin sons born of different mothers.  They both give new definition to the term "hEX".

I have always loved E.T.'s sense of humor.  It's snarky! And she really helped me learn to laugh at the craziness during this horrible time in my life.  One way she accomplished this was by inventing the Tiara Wars.  She still had the tiara from her wedding.  We decided that this tiara should be bestowed on the Twin whose hEX was being the most rotten.  We had a good 6 months of trading that tiara back and forth every other day.  Rev. hEX decided to become a Reverend to avoid paying taxes, I had to give up the tiara.  Then my demon hEX married a woman he'd met online,who he had known for 6 months and who lived in Iowa. That one actually bought me the tiara for quite some time.

As more friends came to us with horror stories of their separation/divorce, the contestant list for the coveted Tiara grew at a frightning pace. It may sound childish, but again, it made me laugh during a horrible time. Some of the crazy the demon hEX pulled made me feel all levels of WTF? And when E.T. would call me up and say "hand over the tiara good twin, you're not going to believe this..." I laughed and felt less alone.

The Good Twin has captured the essence of the "Tiara Wars" and then some!!!
OMG, what to add?  First off, after my dreams of Happily Ever After ended quite bitterly- I was weeding through my possessions after the agonizing split- one of the things I felt emotionally fueled to hang on to was the tiara from my wedding.  Yes, it's beautiful, it's sparkling, it encompasses every Bride's dream of the "Happily Ever After" 
Leaving the Ex, I couldn't take the antique server I was given from my Grandmother- because my beloved Minion 2.0 still used it as his place to store his keys.  The fact that I was leaving my home and moving into a bedroom at my Parents' house- pushed the envelope of "take only what you need" which is an especially devastating concept to a Taurus.  We emotionally bond to inanimate objects- that's just how we are.  It's not the dollar value of said objects, just how they make us feel. 
So- moving into the closet sized bedroom that what was to become my existence- I made sure that my wedding tiara was placed front and center- an everyday reminder to be careful what you wish for.  It wasn't until the Good Twin taught me how to laugh again- that I looked to the tiara as the ultimate "Ms. Ex Married USA Pageant"  We were both two overly-damaged women trying to free ourselves from the drama cycle- and what better way to free yourself from an over dose of bitter- than to make it a contest?  My Ex had issues extraordinaire - her ex had issues extraordinaire- instead of responding on an anxiety fueled level to things we couldn't control or comprehend- we learned to laugh and grow from the Jerry Springer that was our Exes' life.  We were two soldiers in arms- daring our Exes to out compete themselves for the coveted "Tiara!!!"

1 comment:

  1. You have such an awesome way with words! I promise to never send you a biter gram. However, I make no such promises about using your mailbox for wild deer mailbox ring toss!