Excuses are wonderful to pass out!! Seriously, a good excuse somehow absolves you of your transgressions. An excuse is the caveat to your bad behavior. Excuses: the righter of wrongs!! We’ve all dealt out an excuse. We’ve all bought an excuse. We’ve all laughed at some lame excuse someone tried to feed us. My favorite is the “I didn’t mean too”. It makes me want to punch that person in the face and say “oh, I didn’t mean too…does your nose hurt any less now?”
Excuses can be helpful. Saying "I'm sorry, I can't. I have to save a flying turtle from a burning tree" sounds so much better then "no, I don't want to come over for dinner. You're a terrible cook and your dog smells bad." Although, if you just stop at "I can't" rarely do people ask why. If they do, chances are you should distance yourself from them anyway.
When our significant other hurts us, or a close friend, we repeatedly ask "why" as if the answer is going to somehow erase the hurt that we are feeling. "I wasn't myself" "I didn't think" "I was drunk" "I didn't know this would happen" Another one of my favorites "I didn't think you'd find out" Seriously? Can I punch you in the face now?
The funny thing about excuses is that we all think if we find the right one, everything will be ok. We will feel better. They will feel better. In reality, the first step to mending fences is accountability. Accept the responsibility for whatever bonehead thing you did that hurt someone you care about. Don't accept a lame excuse for the hurt you are feeling. Demand accountability. I leave you with a pivotal moment in my life as I was confronting the cheating hEX, the air all around me reeking with the stench of excuses, pain in my heart and patience on vacation:
"OMG! You were wrong! You screwed up and you were wrong! Just sit there in your wrongness and BE WRONG!"