Friday, April 5, 2013

A to Z Blog Challenge: E is for Excuses



Excuses are wonderful to pass out!! Seriously, a good excuse somehow absolves you of your transgressions.  An excuse is the caveat to your bad behavior.   Excuses: the righter of wrongs!! We’ve all dealt out an excuse.  We’ve all bought an excuse.  We’ve all laughed at some lame excuse someone tried to feed us.  My favorite is the “I didn’t mean too”.  It makes me want to punch that person in the face and say “oh, I didn’t mean too…does your nose hurt any less now?”

Most people want to believe the best in people.  We want to see only the good.  It is very uncomfortable to look at someone acting like an asshole.  It’s upsetting.  It's hurtful.  But if there is an excuse for their behavior, somehow everything is right with the world again. Until the next time anyway.

Excuses can be helpful.  Saying "I'm sorry, I can't.  I have to save a flying turtle from a burning tree" sounds so much better then "no, I don't want to come over for dinner.  You're a terrible cook and your dog smells bad."  Although, if you just stop at "I can't" rarely do people ask why.  If they do, chances are you should distance yourself from them anyway.

When our significant other hurts us, or a close friend, we repeatedly ask "why" as if the answer is going to somehow erase the hurt that we are feeling.  "I wasn't myself" "I didn't think" "I was drunk" "I didn't know this would happen" Another one of my favorites "I didn't think you'd find out" Seriously? Can I punch you in the face now?

The funny thing about excuses is that we all think if we find the right one, everything will be ok. We will feel better.  They will feel better.  In reality, the first step to mending fences is accountability.  Accept the responsibility for whatever bonehead thing you did that hurt someone you care about.  Don't accept a lame excuse for the hurt you are feeling.  Demand accountability.  I leave you with a pivotal moment in my life as I was confronting the cheating hEX, the air all around me reeking with the stench of excuses, pain in my heart and patience on vacation:

"OMG! You were wrong! You screwed up and you were wrong! Just sit there in your wrongness and BE WRONG!"

24 comments:

  1. Just dropped in from the A to Z Challenge and glad I did. I love the sentiments in your post. I now have no excuse not to visit you again during the Challenge!

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  2. Your post is way too painfully true! I think my "favorite" excuse was when I found pretty graphic sex texts on the Ex's phone and his excuse was "It's not for me. Other people use my phone all the time."
    Right...

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    1. I have John's phone so I'm commenting as him, but I'm not. Other people use his phone all the time...you know, the phone that never leaves his hand. :)

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    2. LOL!!! I know when I borrow a friend's phone- I use it to Sext my boyfriend because priorities people!
      (Ugh)
      Of course the Good Twin still gets the Tiara for "I didn't think you'd find out" So I'm an idiot now AND married to a loser? Lovely!

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    3. I thought I got the tiara 'cause the hEX met someone on the internet who lived in Iowa...then married her 6 months later...

      But the "it wasn't my sext, it was my buddies" is classic!! Truly!

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  3. The worst excuses are the ones people use in order to not take responsibility for their actions. "I was drunk." Worst. Excuse. Ever.

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    1. Totally with you but when you think about it, that excuse just leads to more trouble. If being drunk is a plausible excuse, well why were you drinking so much to begin with? Merlot for thought, anyway!

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  4. Excuses, excuses...I teach and have heard too many!
    Happy A-Z April!

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    1. Have they gotten more original since "the dog ate my homework"?

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  5. So very right! Excuses don't solve anything and sometimes it makes it worse. Great post.

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  6. Oh very well said, lol for real at 'the punch you in the face', so funny. Happy A to Z.

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  7. Wait... is the turtle ok? :)

    Great post and points. I think it all comes back to our reluctance to have difficult conversations.

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    1. I assure you, the turtle was fine! :) The tree is a different story... :(

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  8. I don't make up excuses meaning I don't lie about things, but I do have my share of excuses. My excuse for being late: I run on Filipino Time. It is a real thing, and yes, I am Filipino. Really, I should acknowledge the real culprits: I am not a morning person and I like to sleep.

    Check out my A to Z! Jen Hemming and Hawing Again

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    1. I'm 1/4 Filipino! I'm so going to use that next time I skip a boring meeting at work!!

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  9. No one is better at excuses than little children--I love the way that their minds work, and if all else fails its "because". Visiting from A-Z

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    1. Thanks for stopping by!! My minions are awesome at excuses:

      Me: Minion 1!! Why did you shave your brothers head???

      Minion 1: Well, you never told me I couldn't, so it's kinda your fault really...but I forgive you Mom!

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  10. I especially don't want to hear excuses in business. Things happen and I can deal with that, but be proactive and don't wait for me to hunt you down. :) I'm more lenient with personal stuff. We all have our moods and usually use excuses.

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    1. One of the hardest things for me is delegating work and having one of those people screw it up. Ultimately I am responsible so I fall on the sword but I really want to yell "provide me with a more intelligent staff please!!!"

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  11. I might have to steal your 'punch you in the face.' Don't worry, I'll tell everyone I got it from you. :-)

    Great post! I am absolutely in support of accountability. We need more of it in the world.

    Lyre at Lyre's Musings

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    1. Lol, the Evil Twin has a separate savings just for my bail money! :) Thanks for visiting!

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Thoughts?