Everyone has had at least one disturbing encounter with Jethro the Backwoods Spider. He's the little 8-legged a-hole who sets up camp in your bathroom at night while you sleep.
At some point you find yourself contemplating your naval while sitting on the John, and then the background music starts *Da la ling ling ding ding ding....* For those not in the know, that's the intro to "Dueling Banjos" in Heatherspeak- I tried to translate it into normal people- but Google let me down big time this morning:
BTW- if you need a good laugh, try typing this:
Or if search suggestion #2 scared you as much as it scared me:
And... back to the actual "story"
So like I said, Jethro the Backwoods Spider is the 8-legged a-hole who sets up shop in your shower to surprise you at a most inopportune time. (Hence the "a-hole") Unlike his brainer cousins, he frowns on the whole "I should spin a web and put it somewhere that I can catch things my own size to eat."
So, just who is he trying to catch anyway? There's only one thing that bleeds that's walking through that door and that would be me. If you think you're going to do a whole "Mission Impossible sneak quietly down the rope while the victim is sudsing up her hair thing" you're in for a world of hurt.
Sneaking into my shower wins you a burial at sea, end of story.
I did however have one encounter with his slightly more bad-arse cousin Chuck Norris of the Backwoods Spider. Same scenario, I was sitting there contemplating my belly button, only there was no sneaking for this fearless warrior. Nope, he was front and center on the sink beside me and I swore I could here a tiny "Bring it!"
So I freaked, grabbed a wad of toilet paper to smite him, but when I looked for my confirmed kill, all that was under the TP was a leg....
Two days later, I was in the same position, as was he, sitting on my sink sans one leg and out for his blood worthy revenge.
(I believe I screamed and ran this time and just avoided using that bathroom for a month or so.)
Please feel free to leave your own Jethro encounters in the comments - I kinda believe that being this twitchy will some how burn calories for me ;)