Wednesday, April 10, 2013

A to Z Blog Challenge: I is for "I'm not in love with you anymore"



This blog was created in part to laugh through our own painful experiences and help others laugh through theirs. (We're really just looking for more contestants in The Tiara Wars) Divorce sucks.  It's painful, it's hurtful and it just plain, flat out sucks!  In an effort to minimize the scars, I started laughing things off.  Laughing with my wonderful Evil Twin helped me to heal better than I probably would have otherwise. (Thank you Heather, btw)

In every painful experience that everyone shares with me, I do try to find the humor in it.  I think this is why people share their painful experiences with me, there's gotta be a joke in there somewhere!!  One of the biggest things I wrestle with in this quest to find humor is the "I'm just not in love with you anymore" statement.  Seriously?  Dude, chances are she hasn't been "in love" with you in years.  This is when that whole commitment thing comes in.  Falling in love happens very naturally, with little to no effort.  Because you're "falling".  No one has to work at "falling".  Sustaining love takes effort and commitment!!!  So, I don't accept "I'm just not in love with you anymore".  That translates to "I'm just too selfish to work on this relationship".

It's very sad, I can't tell you how many marriages I've seen crumble because people just don't understand that there comes a point in EVERY relationship where you are no longer falling in love but you are CHOOSING to love.  And these people choose anything but their spouse.

So when a dear friend of mine, who has been separated from her husband since last Summer, was regaling me with the latest and greatest: "...and then he said 'I love you, I'm just not in love with you anymore'..." the only thing I could think to say was "so, did you punch him in his face?"*






* I don't actually recommend punching him in his face as I'm sure that will lead to assault charges, no matter what state you live in.  Just remember "revenge is a dish best served cold" and "sometimes the best revenge is living well".  If all else fails, we know a good curse for his toes! ;) 

19 comments:

  1. LMAO!!! I forget the toe curse! OMG Drunk Heather comes up with some good ones ;)
    One of the many, many manyx3 things my hEX took issue with is when people say they "married their best friend" He thought this somehow demeaned the position of Wife/Husband. Now, looking back, I think marrying your Best Friend is the smartest way to go. If the Good Twin was blessed with manly bits, I'd marry her in a heartbeat! Lust and the drunk/happy feelings come and go. But a good friend is forever. Maybe you no longer go weak in the knees when he wears those "come and get it!" jeans, but having someone to curl up on the coach and laugh at the world with is so much better than the crazy lust temporary high of a new relationship. Plus, if you do need a boost in the hormone department, there are many great books out there that you can read to get the blood flowing to your Southern region :)

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    1. I haven't heard from DH in awhile, what gives??

      And for the record, I would totally marry you if you had manly parts! Alas, I'll just be content sharing a good Merlot!!

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  2. I liked this, attraction and falling in love is so easy there is really no work involved but I guess keeping up the flame is where it all starts...not that I got any experience...need to get some cats.

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    1. I was a slave to my cat!! I'd get a dog! That's unconditional love right there!! Or a horse 'cause they will live somewhere else. :)

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  3. Happy Divorce! Maybe you should make greeting cards! I for one am grateful for my husband's 1st divorce....that way I got him! :) good luck with the rest of A-Z!
    http://diamondvilleclarksdennisroberta.blogspot.com

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    1. Lol, so his current wife should send thank you cards to me and his 1st wife? Or should I send one her?

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    2. You should exchange cards. :)

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    3. Lol, I've often thought of sending 3.0 a thank you card, my life has been so much more quiet since she moved out here!

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  4. So well said, and you're right the best revenge is living well. Marriage takes a lot of work, some people can't manage that long term commitment. Humour is always the best way to go when things get hard.
    #atozchallenge
    maggie winter

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    1. Thanks Maggie! And thanks for visiting!

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  5. Good healthy humor! Sounds like you've stuck a fork in and called it done :) Go A to Z!!

    http://dgwordworks.wordpress.com

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    1. Unfortunately my local law enforcement frowns upon sticking forks in it, hence the need for the blog! ;)

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    2. Probably best to avoid any damaging implement. :)

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  6. Wow, this was a good one. Truly love your gift of writing and your style. You're right, too, of course. I am happy to have found your blog, and thank you for finding me, too.

    Best wishes,

    Dana at Waiter, drink please!

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    1. Thank you, Dana. I'm so flattered! I definitely look forward to reading your blog and comments!!

      :) Christine

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  7. Great post! Sorry I'm a day late catching it. :-)

    I really liked your perspective on the importance of friendship in a relationship.

    Lyre at Lyre's Musings

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    1. I would say you are fashionably late! ;) Thanks for visiting!!

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Thoughts?