Wednesday, April 10, 2013
A to Z Blog Challenge: I is for "I'm not in love with you anymore"
This blog was created in part to laugh through our own painful experiences and help others laugh through theirs. (We're really just looking for more contestants in The Tiara Wars) Divorce sucks. It's painful, it's hurtful and it just plain, flat out sucks! In an effort to minimize the scars, I started laughing things off. Laughing with my wonderful Evil Twin helped me to heal better than I probably would have otherwise. (Thank you Heather, btw)
In every painful experience that everyone shares with me, I do try to find the humor in it. I think this is why people share their painful experiences with me, there's gotta be a joke in there somewhere!! One of the biggest things I wrestle with in this quest to find humor is the "I'm just not in love with you anymore" statement. Seriously? Dude, chances are she hasn't been "in love" with you in years. This is when that whole commitment thing comes in. Falling in love happens very naturally, with little to no effort. Because you're "falling". No one has to work at "falling". Sustaining love takes effort and commitment!!! So, I don't accept "I'm just not in love with you anymore". That translates to "I'm just too selfish to work on this relationship".
It's very sad, I can't tell you how many marriages I've seen crumble because people just don't understand that there comes a point in EVERY relationship where you are no longer falling in love but you are CHOOSING to love. And these people choose anything but their spouse.
So when a dear friend of mine, who has been separated from her husband since last Summer, was regaling me with the latest and greatest: "...and then he said 'I love you, I'm just not in love with you anymore'..." the only thing I could think to say was "so, did you punch him in his face?"*
* I don't actually recommend punching him in his face as I'm sure that will lead to assault charges, no matter what state you live in. Just remember "revenge is a dish best served cold" and "sometimes the best revenge is living well". If all else fails, we know a good curse for his toes! ;)