Friday, September 7, 2012

Good Twinisms

We all have our own dating criteria.  Those things we look for in a potential partner, the things we don't care about, the quirks we could live with, etc.  My first go 'round in this whole dating thing, I always paid attention to how a guy treated people he didn't have to be nice to.  The waiter in a restaurant, the usher collecting tickets, the random person we pass on the street and so on. If a guy was nice to a person he didn't have to be nice to, it may be worth my time to get to know him better.  Not to say that this is a full proof plan, this was one of the things that impressed me about my ex-husband when we first starting dating. But it does help weed out some of the assholes.And let's face it, nice people are easier to share time with.

What I've learned since those days is that it's not just how he treats people he doesn't have to be nice to.  It's also how he treats the people he should be nice to...his family and friends.   Do you really want to spend the next 30 years of your life with someone who can't call his mom at least once a week?  Or ignores a friend in need until the Red Sox are done playing?  I realize that sometimes families become estranged and there are multiple sides to any story. Think about this though, his family/friends are the people he is used to and secure with...his treatment of them is a good indication of how he's going to treat you should you become part of his scenery too.



4 comments:

  1. Wow! That's a really good point! And also a scenerio that I've experienced- being impressed with the way that a guy treats complete strangers and failing to notice how he treats the people he is the closest to. Though I think we all take advantage of those we love. We're secure in the knowledge that they love us no matter what- so we invest more time and energy in those who haven't crossed that fence yet.

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  2. Exactly! I think that is just madness...and not the good kind! "I love you enough to be a jackass to you?" That makes about as much sense as a squirrel sporting a top hat! I'll be polite to a complete stranger but I give my respect/regard to the people in my life who have actually earned it.

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  3. Actually- if you watch the movie Rat Race- a squirrel sporting a top hat makes perfect sense!
    It is madness- but it's human nature as well.

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  4. I'm all about resisting my human nature these days!

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Thoughts?