Wednesday, September 19, 2012

“It’s not what happens to us that counts, it’s our reaction to it.”

As you know, I am a single parent in just about every sense of the term.  I'm also very opinionated and I'm a fire sign.  So, my inbox periodically receives news stories from friends who are either seriously curious about my opinions (hahaha - can't even type that with a straight face) or who are bored and I put on a good show when my buttons are pushed.

Today's news story:

School Bans Father-Daughter Dances

Before I share my response, I would like to address "father Adam Roy" who is quoted and reproduced here:

“There’s not many opportunities for a father to be with their daughter. I think it’s a travesty to be quite honest with you,” father Adam Roy told the station.

There are PLENTY of opportunities for fathers to spend time with their daughters, find out what her interests are and plan an outing, you don't need the school for this, you just MAKE TIME FOR YOUR KID, ASSHOLE!

*deep cleansing breath* OK, my take on this story is reproduced herein:

I think the girl should have been able to go and bring whatever father figure she wanted, including her mother (although if this were my daughter, I think we would opt for an evening at the spa and a Brazilian steakhouse dinner instead of a school dance…but I would still buy her a corsage for the occasion).  I think the school was wrong to say she can’t participate because she doesn’t have a father. But I also think banning the event is a little extreme. 

These types of traditions are important but I think schools need to evolve with the times and focus on the spirit of these traditions.  I also believe that parents need to stop using their situations to martyr themselves and also focus on the spirit of these traditions. 

What this woman just taught her daughter is that she is a victim of her circumstance.  I would rather teach my daughter that while her circumstance is not ideal, it does not take away from all the amazing things that she is!  


  1. I must admit ~Setting the Fire Sign Off and Grabbing a Bowl of Popcorn to watch the Fireworks~ is a guilty pleasure of mine.
    But I feel that Good Twin is spot on with her take on this. A successful parent (in my humble opinion) is someone who helps their children prepare for life in the real world. This includes nurturing their strengths and teaching them that although Life isn’t always fair- it’s what we do with what we are given that matters.

  2. Well said Evil Twin! If I do my job right, by the time I am sending my babies into the world *sob sob* They will both be well adjusted, strong spirited, and will draw on their own strength and courage in less than ideal situations.

  3. Many people expect others to provide the opportunities for interaction with their children when they are too lazy to do so. It's so easy to place the blame on the schools for something they didn't do enough than to look yourself in the mirror and say, "Making time for my children is a priority for me," and then DOING IT. Don't see it as an obligation.

    I see the same things when people expect only their spiritual leaders to teach morality, or when the schools are expected to teach children about sex, drugs, or anything else that parents are too scared to discuss with their kids.

    As a teacher, I was blamed for a student's poor academic performance by a student's father because I was a MAN. Yes, you read that correctly...for my gender. One parent said that his son didn't do well in my class because he does "much better with women". I wanted to say, " mean the female teacher next door who saddled me with your son a quarter of the way through the year because she couldn't control him in class and expected nothing from him? Perhaps THAT'S why he wasn't learning anything."

    In the end, the influence of the parent or parents--regardless of gender--and the time spent with their children pays innumerable dividends. As a veteran teacher of more than 20 years, you can tell the ones that have loving, engaged parents at home.

    1. Agreed!!! And considering that teachers have more interaction during the day with your kid than you do- (and probably a lot more experience in dealing with kids in general) You would hope that Parents would be smart enough to drop the ego and listen. Not to say the teacher is always right, but they can definitely give insight into an area of your kid's life that you are not there to see.

    2. Definitely! There are good and bad teachers and they are NOT always right...but they are in a position to see some very interesting things.