Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Of Nuns and Boobs and Back to School Night, oh my!

Tonight is back to school night at my kids' school.  For some reason I'm feeling a little anxious about this.  This isn't my first year meeting the teachers of my children, all by myself, and it certainly won't be the last.  I'm very comfortable in my single parent spot and no longer feel achy or alone at these school things.  I've actually started to enjoy some of them in the last year.  But today I'm feeling anxious. Evil Twin lovingly pointed out to me that there won't be any scary Nuns there tonight.  I suddenly flashed to my Catholic school days...

There were nuns all over that school...except in whatever class my brother had.  He got the cool teachers.  I always ended up with nuns.  They were mean which I always thought was very contrary to God's messages.  I also thought the nuns were so mean to me because they didn’t have any boobs and they knew one day I would have boobs (haha, jokes on them).  One day, when Sister Ann George was in a particularly nasty mood with me (she didn't like how I wrote my “2's”), and she was being really, really mean, I actually visualized (yes, Ally McBeal moments started that early for me) myself telling her “You’re just jealous because you don’t have boobs and one day I will!!”  Fortunately, years of Catholic school training had taught me to keep my mouth shut, my head down and “for God’s sake, wipe that smirk off my face!!” 



  1. LMAO!!! Although I shouldn't laugh as you are more blessed by the Boob Fairy than I am!
    (Karma please don't make my boobs any smaller!)
    One of my favorite stories of my Mom is when she was a little girl and my grandparents took her to church. They were sitting directly behind a Nun and not being able to contain herself- my Mom tapped her on the shoulder:
    "Excuse me? Do you bite?"
    My Grandma still complains about the evil death glare said Nun gave my Mom!

    1. Lol!! I think they were no longer allowed to bite or smack by the time I got to school. In all fairness though, Sister Ann George had sent me to the principals office one day (I think I had a cold and was breathing out of my mouth instead of my nose). Sister Ann Marie was this really sweet, older nun who worked in the office. She took me to the little side room, gave me some butter cookies and milk. When enough time passed she sent me back to class. I think she realized that Sister Ann George was a nutcase.

      I was about 10 when I realized that not all nuns names started with "Sister Ann ...." and about 15 when I realized that Sister Ann George clearly had never found the underground tunnel to the rectory.