Thursday, September 27, 2012

We’re Legally Separated, Let the Dating Begin!

The ink was barely dry on my separation agreement when I went to meet an old boyfriend.  This was good for me as I needed to break out of the destructive cycle of my marriage.  This was good for my self-esteem.  When your husband repeatedly cheats on you, your self-esteem takes a few hits. In hindsight, this was not a smart move.  Getting involved with someone so soon after my separation caused a lot of confusion and heartache.  I needed to break away on my own, not run to someone else.  I needed to find the strength to stand on my own two feet, to learn to love myself most.  This process took twice as long because I delayed the “growing through pain” part.  And I hurt someone else.

My standard advice since has been not to date while separated.  Yes, I understand you have a legal separation, yes I understand that your intention is to divorce, yes I understand s/he is a rotten SOB and you just want to feel human again.  The best advice I can give you is to dust off some of your old interests, find some new interests, catch up with friends but wait until you are legally divorced to start dating.  Give yourself that time to heal.    

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